…I have anxiety problems.
I don’t know how to manage stress well, so I take it out in unhealthy ways.
- I worry constantly even though it yields no positive outcome
- I cracked a tooth last semester from clenching my jaw too much (I now wear a night guard when I sleep)
- I go through phases of insomnia or some sort of disturbed sleep pattern
- I lash out on the people I love
- I either stress-eat or don’t eat at all, causing weight fluxuations
- I worry about if people think I’m crazy for worrying so much
For those of you who know me, I’m a verbal processors. Things aren’t real unless I talk about them. When I talk about an issue with someone, it’s more of a chance for me to hear out my own thoughts and options rather than my final word on anything. Because of this, I probably come off as a bit of a complainer. As much of the self-pitier as I appear to be, I promise I don’t look at my life and think, “this is terrible.” I’m actually loving my life, but there are parts–like any person’s life–that I don’t know how to navigate, so you’re probably going to hear about it if you sit with me long enough.
I don’t have a formal diagnosis for an anxiety disorder, but I’m finally getting help. It’s not fair to the people around me that are subjected to a person with such high highs and such low lows–a person who could smile at you one second and fight tears the next. On a good day, I’m even-keeled and think before I speak, but I have more bad days than good.
It’s also not fair to myself to have these expectations of myself that I’m perfect. No one is, so why do I think I have to be? That’s what Jesus is for. And sitting around hoping for it to be over does nothing. It’s time to take tangible steps.
That’s where I am now.
Ways to help me along the way & things that encourage me in ways more than words could describe:
- Write me a note–some of my most cherished letters are scribbled on index cards
- Smile at me when you walk by me
- A good ol’ hug is almost never a bad way to go
- Always love getting a piece of fruit or some gluten free snack
- Ask me how I’m really doing–don’t settle for “good.”
- Share with me your story
- Small, thoughtful gestures reminding me you care
Show me your love.